perkisabeast.com Blog

From a close and personal friend of the Perkisabeast staff, Mr. Hate, his thoughts circa January 2006:

I guess everyone is going to have their say on our team.Here is mine:
1)The Bruins
- Celtics Brass, do you want to play second fiddle to that organization? In your current “no rent, no revenue” deal, you are. How does it feel? Let me venture a guess - “I paid three hundred and sixty million dollars to feel like this?”
{Bob, ever feeling like maybe dinner and drinks with Esta would have been a better call?}
You have two choices:
Buy Aramark
Build new home
Unless you can tear up the lease.
{we all assume if you could have done that, you would have - no one doubts your business acumen, collectively or individually}

I do not ever go the new stadium as franchise fixer route {um, I’m actually of the “absolutely love Fenway, and no, I don’t care about the neighborhood” crew.} Pretty much always a bad move - but right now I think it is the only move.
Why?
2)Boston
- Pretty much our city has stunk for a century. I know about Boston bohemia of the 1910’s and all the goddamned enlightment of each of Boston’s mini movements,(movements alright - we’re talking after Willa Cather and Sarah Orwen Jewett {and yes, Robert Frost is the Devil - brilliant poet, evolutionary sadist}) I also know we have too many small cities instead of boroughs or precincts or districts. We are so intrisically rascist and classist that we actually think we’re the center of American Liberalism. Painting the busline in and out of Roxbury Silver and calling it a train is just mean, “you stepped on my dog’s balls mean” mean and that’s the hometown of Malcolm X. Nevermind the nice laminated streetmaps they sell around the common include Brookline and Cambridge but not Roxbury, The South End or Dorchester. “We’ll show you other cities on this lovely map of Boston, but not the entirety of our own.” Lovely embrace of diversity. We make up for that though with the largest lottery in the country. You say lottery, I say regressive tax on the poor, but that’s just quibbling, right? The truth is though, our city has a chance at becoming a real great city again. I know how crazy that sounds, look around and think about Boston’s place in the world. What have we done and what are we doing? Six best in a country in decline as my classmates say? Or ask the German Medical students in town for a little biotech talk their opinions on Boston possible place in the world. The capital home of American Democracy, the game of Basketball, the motorcycle, and the weekend some how remembered for something other than blueblood twits, their corrupt pols, and an ugly accent? I’m not exactly a believer, but I think it could be tipped that way. We have five principally new museums opening in the next few years{for the nerds:The MFA Expansion, The ICA move, The Gardner Expansion, The Children’s Museum Expansion and The Boston Museum (We’ve been burned by the avant-architect before Daniel. I know what the Johnson looks like strapped on the McKim)} Coupled with the final stages of the Big Dig, that is going to leave us with a very different looking, different feeling city.
3)The Boston Celtics and Yankee Stadium.
-The Yankess have rebuilt, why can we? Do I want the elephant dung stench, the runways and obstruction? No. I want Basketball Theater. They play crap through loud speakers in Orlando because it is Orlando. You are Boston, why do you have to be like them? Put me on top of the game. Make me feel like for whatever I paid, I was in the game, I participated and not for a moment were my eyes taken away from the drama unfolding before me. Interactive entertainment is not flying leprechans. The Yankees don’t have Leprechans, They have Ronan Tynan. Do I hate Ronan Tynan? Yes, but do I think he’s dumbed-down L.A. trash that has made places like Arco special? No. This is Boston, Not L.A.
3)The Celtics
- Why do I keep mentioning the Yankees? Why? I hate the Yankees, I mean Making love to Peter May in a hot and sweaty way hate the Yankees, but the Boston Celtics are the Yankees. We are the arrogant and the free. Ealle hie death fornum. {Again for the nerds: All of this death destroys} You are about to be at the epicenter of an American cultural and bio-medical explosion. Don’t you want to be part the fabric of this great American city again, like you were when I was young? {when people talked about Russell, they did it in whispered voices of awe} Doc doesn’t look like the solution, but Danny does. He does. Members of the Shammond Williams Fan Club please stand up. Gerald, Al, and Perk where they were drafted? Having someone else pay Antione while you found out what you had until you needed to make a playoff run? Do I love it all? No, but if confronted with those deals, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have taken them, even the bad ones, and I’m no sychophant. {that’s danbambino@aol.com} Baron, we should have pulled the trigger on, but that’s uninsurable money a.k.a. real big real dollars.

Moves need to be made, big loud ugly moves. Make them now. Be a Celtic, redefine the terms.