perkisabeast.com Blog

Metro F’N Natural?!?

12/31 vs. Seattle

It’s still early in the season, but it looks as if this Seattle team was but a flash in pan now past its prime. Not so for Washington ’s nascent wine industry, the Columbia Valley has been performing like Rashard Lewis ought to in the last year of his contract. Our condolences to Seattle fans and his agent. Nevertheless, pair this game with rising star Cayuse’s Syrah Bionic Frog. The Wine Advocate describes the 2002 as, “expansive, lush and deep,” like the way Ray Allen’s shooting touch would make us feel if he were in Celtic, not Sonic, green. Match this wine with grilled bacon wrapped figs for maximum satisfaction.

Again, Metro F’N Natural?!?

Here is a check up on our dear friend Ricky Davis who scored 24 points and 6 rebounds to lead the T-Wolves to their 13th win over a struggling Seattle. Ricky is averaging 14 points, 3 rebounds, and 4 assists for the Wolves this year, and for all you Fantasy freaks, PIAB recommends Davis, his efficiency is 13.85 which is over average. rickydfan12 is still bitter about Doc and Danny shipping this “OG” out of town for Wally (3-17 shooting last night) Szczerbiak. Anyhow, all is set and done, but in this 5 game losing streak, we become depressed and rue the day that ricky was shipped out. Here is a mixtape of Ricky using that pimp juice of his to the fullest:

As a postscript people,
You must ignore the 18 pts and 9 boards from Mark “I put the ass in asshole” Blount. He sucks too much to have it any other way…

Not High Enough

Positives:

- A tough night and Al is still 18 and 7?
- Perk is a beast and we’ve missed him terribly.
- Tony’s 20 and 8 is mighty impressive.
- DWest was 7-11
- Together, that ain’t bad for the 15th, 24th and 25th pick…

Negatives:

- We lost and hard. You wanna learn about loss?
-Al only flirted with the double double, posting 6 turnovers
- Rondo got 2 minutes

- Gerald can’t have 4 shots and Tony 17

There’s A Silver Lining Somewhere…

Blount-esque Imagery

Ugly Thought of Year:
If you hired Doc Rivers to preach defense, you should fire yourself.

BayAreaNerds

12/29 vs. Golden State

Realizing that the greater bay area is a domestic culinary mecca in the center of America’s best wine regions, visiting the Warriors is like visiting your ne’er-do-well, half-wit cousin Larry in Saugus. You know, Larry with the plastic reindeer and inflatable snowman in his yard, Larry with the christmas lights that never come down. You remember Larry. With respect to Ellis and Nelly (prostitutes, politicians, ugly buildings and second rate nba coaches),I’ve never understood the raison d’etre of this organization, aside from providing the entry after ‘golden shower’ in the Perktionary. Baron Davis has less style than an El Dorado Zin. Take with crisp, inexpensive, fruity whites like Dr Loosen Eroica, 2004 Navarro dry Gewurztraminer or a Beringer Alluvium. Pair with deep fried baby artichoke hearts stuffed with pepper jack cheese for a winning combo.

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