Who is Threatening Tony Allen?

Everyone immediately puts their conspiracy theories out there, obviously #1 being that this is related to Tony’s earlier incident in Chi-Town.


“A judge found him not guilty of aggravated assault in April of 2007, a case based on a fight outside a Chicago restaurant two years earlier.

Sources say this issue has nothing to do with that case, that Allen has been a part of a dispute that’s gone unresolved for over a year. Friends are worried for him, and so are the Celtics. In fact, one long-time Allen friend was told by a Chicago police officer, a source said, that he would be wise to steer clear of the Celtic this weekend. Considering the source of these threats, no one with knowledge of the issue is dismissing these protection steps as an overreaction.”


So we here at the Crack Staff decided to round up some potential suspects:


1. Benny the Bull:
We all remember the incident last April with KG and Posey, perhaps things have escalated further in the delusional mind of Benny. “I felt threatened,” said Posey at the time. Looking back at the story, “unresolved for a over a year” seems to tie Benny in. I mean its not like the guy has a history of violence or attacking police officers, right?


2. Commissioner David Stern
The man has been throwing Gang Signs around for years and was curiously in-house last night with a team of security guards separating him and Tony. The man is ice cold and when he wants something taken care of, its taken care of. Once again you can point to some strange bedfellows from the past as well. I’m not sure what T.A. did to piss him off, but beware of Stern-O’s wrath.


3. The Chicago Dance Team:
This is an insult to humanity, not just Tony Allen, But fittingly depicts the general population of Chicago and thus any one of these men could be the culprit.


4. The Dude Behind the Toine and Eddy Curry Robberies:
Here’s a real conspiracy theory, sure they caught 4 young guys and charged them, but do we really think they acted alone?


5. Sideshow Bob:
The guy was always making threats against Bart Simpson, this would be nothing new.

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